Four times they lost their baby and the one time they welcome twins.
1.
The first time it happened, Luke didn't even know he was pregnant.
If only he knew, he'd stay away from the pineapple juice that one of the workers in Bazar had offered. It was rude to decline plus it was traditionally made by her mother who was famous for her homemade juice.
It happened almost instantly, one minute he was drinking the juice the next he felt wetness on his thigh, blood tainting his jeans and horrible pain coming from his stomach. He passed out due to the pain.
When Luke woke up, James was there looking at him with sad blue eyes.
He had lost their first child.
2.
The second time Luke was pregnant; he woke up to a horrible case of morning sickness.
Luke had suspicions before that though, he couldn't button his jeans because his belly had suddenly become round and full. Then he had sudden craving for quail eggs - something he utterly despise. A few days after, he woke up with a queasy feeling in his stomach and barely had time to rush to the bathroom - he was wrenching into the sink like there was no tomorrow.
James was obsessed of his small bump. Some nights, Luke would wake up to James talking nonsense to his bump. One night he heard him singing baby mine softly - it turned Luke into a sobbing mess, it was the hormones.
The next day he woke up drenched, blood pooling on their bed.
3.
Luke felt her kick before falling asleep. She was fine; alive and well.
James wanted so much to tell Luke that the doctor is wrong and that she's still alive. But there was no heartbeat. He watched Luke crumbling right in front of him, his hands flat against his swollen belly, round and warm as he cradled it protectively. It hurts so much.
He couldn't face Luke now - not when he was a wreck himself.
Last time he was in a church, James went off after punching his father. Now, in the hospital's chapel, James was kneeling in front of the virgin mary. She had a baby in her arms, why was he even here praying to someone whose happily with a child?
"Is this a punishment?" at first it was just a whisper, then he lose it. "Is it because I don't deserve a child of my own? Haven't you put Luke through enough! Was it because I'm a bastard born out of wedlock and now this is a punishment? Is it me!"
He was weeping, questioning everything and blaming everyone in his life.
Luke found him the next day, with a small bundle in his arm - weak and pale after the induced labour. Maybe he was right, he isn't a good husband and didn't deserve to have a child with Luke.
4.
A year. It took them a year after losing Amadea.
But now, Luke's on the hospital bed again - not with his own little bundle but mourning his fourth lose. He wailed, startling James who was sitting beside his bed. He felt James binding him into his arms, it didn't comfort him.
"Why didn't my baby want me?" he questioned, sobbing into James' neck, "I feel empty, my heart hurts so much. Why didn't he - all of them, why didn't they want me? Is this a punishment, James? Have I done something to make them leave me?"
James choked a sob, tightening and pulling Luke closer. "I can't even answer your questions but what I can tell you is how I feel. I'm so angry, not at you but god for taking our babies away from you, depriving you from holding them. My heart hurts because you're hurt, lovebug."
"Its me, I must have done something wrong, James," he sobbed, clinging to him more. "I want them so much."
5.
Thirty six hours of slow and painful labour, they finally welcomed Castiel into their life. It wasn't over though, they had almost lost Luke and little Narfi when their vitals had suddenly drop. James barely had time to register the words that the nurse had explained to him. Emergency C-section. Possible stillbirth. Danger to Luke. Must choose one.
But in the end, Luke pulled it through. He was out for two days, James would prefer to call it a power nap after all the battles he had gone through to bring Castiel and Narfi into their life. Their little ones were strong, Castiel is the calmest while Narfi he is sure would be a mischief maker after his dramatic entrance.
"They're perfect," Luke whispered, pressing a kiss on each of the slumbering babies forehead.
"They're ours."
3.
James wanted so much to tell Luke that the doctor is wrong and that she's still alive. But there was no heartbeat. He watched Luke crumbling right in front of him, his hands flat against his swollen belly, round and warm as he cradled it protectively. It hurts so much.
He couldn't face Luke now - not when he was a wreck himself.
Last time he was in a church, James went off after punching his father. Now, in the hospital's chapel, James was kneeling in front of the virgin mary. She had a baby in her arms, why was he even here praying to someone whose happily with a child?
"Is this a punishment?" at first it was just a whisper, then he lose it. "Is it because I don't deserve a child of my own? Haven't you put Luke through enough! Was it because I'm a bastard born out of wedlock and now this is a punishment? Is it me!"
He was weeping, questioning everything and blaming everyone in his life.
Luke found him the next day, with a small bundle in his arm - weak and pale after the induced labour. Maybe he was right, he isn't a good husband and didn't deserve to have a child with Luke.
4.
A year. It took them a year after losing Amadea.
But now, Luke's on the hospital bed again - not with his own little bundle but mourning his fourth lose. He wailed, startling James who was sitting beside his bed. He felt James binding him into his arms, it didn't comfort him.
"Why didn't my baby want me?" he questioned, sobbing into James' neck, "I feel empty, my heart hurts so much. Why didn't he - all of them, why didn't they want me? Is this a punishment, James? Have I done something to make them leave me?"
James choked a sob, tightening and pulling Luke closer. "I can't even answer your questions but what I can tell you is how I feel. I'm so angry, not at you but god for taking our babies away from you, depriving you from holding them. My heart hurts because you're hurt, lovebug."
"Its me, I must have done something wrong, James," he sobbed, clinging to him more. "I want them so much."
5.
Thirty six hours of slow and painful labour, they finally welcomed Castiel into their life. It wasn't over though, they had almost lost Luke and little Narfi when their vitals had suddenly drop. James barely had time to register the words that the nurse had explained to him. Emergency C-section. Possible stillbirth. Danger to Luke. Must choose one.
But in the end, Luke pulled it through. He was out for two days, James would prefer to call it a power nap after all the battles he had gone through to bring Castiel and Narfi into their life. Their little ones were strong, Castiel is the calmest while Narfi he is sure would be a mischief maker after his dramatic entrance.
"They're perfect," Luke whispered, pressing a kiss on each of the slumbering babies forehead.
"They're ours."
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